Reader Request: The Unwritten Laws of Concert T-Shirts
January 30th, 2008 - by Dave
Concert T-shirts are a mainstay of live rock concerts.
Admit it – you’ve spent some time at the merch table ogling the latest band logos and cheesy slogans screen printed onto ringer t’s. Even if you have no intention of buying a shirt, you’re drawn to the stand like a fat kid to cake. It’s as if a concert tour doesn’t truly exist unless there is a cotton record with tour dates and city names.
So concert t’s are everywhere. But sometimes we forget the secret rules involved with wearing them.
Here are just a few of the unwritten laws of concert t’s:
- Avoid Shark Jumpers
Don’t even think about wearing a Modest Mouse We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank tour shirt to any kind of an event taking place in a hipster bar. Unless of course you really enjoy hearing all about why the first three Modest Mouse albums are the only ones worth listening to. - Don’t Cross Dress
Skirts on dudes went out with glam rock in the 80’s. We’re not talking about that kind of cross dressing. I’m sure the Kenny Chesney concert was a blast. But wearing the Chesney shirt to a local hardcore fest will make you the center of attention. Being the center of attention at a hardcore show hurts. - Shirts Should Cost Less than Your Beer Tab
You’re going to regret buying that shirt in the morning more than drinking all that beer at a show. Make the right choice. Go with the beer. - Slow Down, Sparkie
Fight the intense urge to try on your brand new shirt during the actual concert. There’s something creepy about a room full of people wearing the same brand new t-shirt. I can’t really even explain why. But it’s creepy. Don’t do it.
Give us some of your own unwritten laws of concert T’s in the comments.
January 30th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
It is illegal to buy a tour Tshirt if it has gig dates on the back. All wearers of such articles are legally required by the state of Arizona to be incarcerated in a Def leppard Asylum for the Clinically Uncool.
It is illegal to buy a Tour Tshirt and either
A) put it on at the concert over your current T Shirt
or
B) Go to the Powder (Coke) Room and take off you Top and replace it with said Tour Tee. This is even more of a heinous crime than A.
January 31st, 2008 at 12:55 am
It is illegal to buy a concert t-shirt to a concert you never went to.
January 31st, 2008 at 4:44 pm
Definitely agree with the Slow Down, Sparkle rule above. Thats like wearing the giveaway t-shirt at a sporting event.
Definitely also illegal to brag about the “Vintage Concert T-Shirt” you have when the from of it says Darryl Hall and John Oates 2007 Tour (just an example, saw that one on EBAY)
If its not before 1997 just call it a t-shirt. Thats my decade rule
January 31st, 2008 at 5:14 pm
What do you do with tour shirts for bands you have since discovered (with age, comes enlightenment) are not as cool as they first appeared? Think of all that money…
February 1st, 2008 at 12:20 pm
I’m curious what people think about wearing a shirt of a band or artist you are going to see, not a shirt that you bought at the concert, but if you already had the shirt. Like wearing a Beatles shirt to a Paul McCartney concert.
February 1st, 2008 at 2:44 pm
As Jeremy Piven, as Droz, in the under-rated movie PCU says to Jon Favreau’s character Gutter:
“What’s this? You’re wearing the shirt of the band you’re going to see? Don’t be that guy.”
Or girl. Just don’t be that person.
February 3rd, 2008 at 7:28 pm
what i do is go shirtless and have some1 put the bands logo on my bare chest using markers
not a tatoo
February 8th, 2008 at 1:38 pm
I’m just glad someone got to mention Jeremy Piven’s work in PCU. Terribly underrated.
July 20th, 2008 at 10:07 am
Hello. I think you are eactly thinking like Sukrat. I really loved the post.
September 28th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
Thanks a lot, this post is very useful.
December 25th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
Hello,thanks for this fantastic blogg, i really find many new things on it and i really loved the design of the blogg. I found it on google. I also want to wish you a happy new year.