Sunday Morning Hangover: Britney Spears in the Center Ring Again, Mellon Arena – Pittsburgh, 3.27.09

April 5th, 2009 - by Niles Rockwell

Sunday Morning Hangover

Before we go getting ahead of ourselves here, let me set the record straight.  No, I did not go to the Britney Spears show (although I did get invited to the after party, which I also had no inclination to attend).  The purpose of this entry is sheer curiosity, not in that she still has a career, but that people still go to her shows.  En masse.

She recently brought the debauchery (this is bona fide-I’ll touch on that later) to Pittsburgh to a nearly sold-out Mellon Arena as part of her Circus tour, no doubt a reference that parallels her life.  I had the chance to talk to some show-goers before they headed over to the venue.  And let me tell you it was one of the more interesting conversations I had in a while.

First, I met a group of ladies in their mid-20s from Ohio who had made the trip to see Britney.  Initially, I was interested in what their matching T-shirts-which they made for the show-said.  “If You Seek Amy” was scrawled across the front.  Who over 15 makes their own T-shirts?  What the hell do they mean?  So I asked.

Apparently it is the title of a song on her new record that censors won’t allow on the radio because if you say “If You Seek Amy” fast enough, it sounds like F-U-C-K Me.  Oh, Ms. Spears, how subtle you have gotten in your old age.  Just another example of how Britney has turned her empire into a girl pushing the envelope at every turn.  How charming and wholesome for our young teenyboppers.

But these ladies were far from teenyboppers.  I asked them why they were still into Brit.  I kinda thought that girls eventually outgrew her and moved on to Beyonce or something.  Kinda like when I decided to put my G.I. Joes away.

Not the case.  They mentioned how great of a dancer and singer she was, how controversial she can be, and expressed sympathy for the constant Paparazzi-stalking she has to deal with.  Even when I countered with the fact that it is widely known that she doesn’t write her own music or sing her songs live, they still defended her saying she initially sang them on the record and that’s good enough.

Though they struggled to confidently define their attraction to her, they seemed to all agree that her allure as a great entertainer is what keeps them coming back.  I’ll give that to her, since dance moves combined with singing is definitely hard stuff.

My only beef is that this “concert” is what America sees as good entertainment.  Hit play on a CD pumping out mega-watts through an arena-sized venue, with lights, dancers, crazy stage props, and some musicians playing along to recorded tracks and that is what you call musical entertainment.  And the majority of Americans would agree.  (Sigh)

They asked me what groups I liked.  I mentioned Radiohead, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Tom Petty and Pink Floyd.  They laughed at Radiohead.  I rest my case.

Later, I ran into a group of three other girls more subtly dressed who were also going.  One of their boyfriends was with them but seemed pretty annoyed.  He stressed he was only the DD.

Again with these girls too, the allure seems to be her lifestyle and the drama that surrounds it.  I guess it is the same reason why there are shows like Keeping Up With The Kardashians, The Hills, and the very existence of the E! Channel.  People like watching super-rich celebrities acting like idiots, causing a commotion and getting away with it.  I guess it sorta appeals to the voyeur-sadist in all of us.  Not me thank you.

Then it struck me.  These are not music or live music fans.  They are basically people attracted to the drama and glamor of a life that is Britney Spears.  The fact that she is a “musician” is just circumstantial.  The allure of her celebrity is the key component to her still having a career.  It’s that “What will Britney Do Next?” intrigue that keeps the ball rolling.

The day before the show a news flash appeared in town.  Apparently two of the crewmembers hired for Brit’s stage hands (they are not directly affiliated with the tour) got a little rowdy and drunk and got involved in a fight at a local South Side bar.  Police intervened and apparently one of the guys took a swing at the cop while the other one placed the other officer in a headlock.  Both were jailed but posted $100,000 bond each the next morning.  They were then fired.

Leave it to Britney to bring the circus to town.