Thanksgiving is upon us and I’m looking forward to an entire day of eating (remember, if you starve yourself till dinner, you can’t eat as much), football games and an epic Guitar Hero III tournament.

Oh that’s right. I’m a dick. I got a Nintendo Wii and Guitar Hero III a couple of weeks ago and have been obsessed ever since.

The game has also resurrected my undying love for epic rock star moves, namely the finger point into the crowd, the fist in the air, playing your guitar in between your legs with boxer shorts on.

All of this happens in my living room now as I press three color-coded buttons to produce songs from The Rolling Stones, Weezer and Foghat.

Epic rock moves have been with us since biblical times and have only grown since then.

For me, whenever Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin”” comes on and it gets to the part where Steve Perry sings “Somewhere in the niiiiiiiggghhhhhtt!” I point to the sky and wail. Somehow, I know Jesus is pointing back at me and saying “Right on brother.”

I know you have them. So when do you break out the epic rock move and during what song?

And BTW: Happy Thanksgiving, from all of us at 52 Shows and William S. Burroughs.

Shame.

We’ve all felt it in various forms: Getting caught with your pants down. Someone over-hearing you complain about them (my greatest fear). Playing fantasy soccer.

What about concerts? Have you shared the collective shame of a crowd realizing the lameness of Creed simultaneously? Or have you gone and carried your concert Scarlet Letter with you since?

Fess up. Remember, we’ve all done something we’re not proud of.

Oh right, I should start this party by revealing how I dishonored myself in the desert of Arizona.

Let me just say this…the tickets were free and I was curious (musically, not sexually). I saw Cher. The Village People opened. Sadly, if I could turn back time, I’d still go.

Opening acts are a necessary evil. Sure, up and coming bands need a way to develop and showcase their live chops. Headliners get a little extra time backstage to throw down a few shots of Jack before their set. And every once in a while an unknown opener can amaze a crowd and maybe even upstage the band who folks came out to see.

But let’s be honest — an amazing opening act is a rarity.

photo by Ralph Unden

So in the interests of civil order, personal safety, and the natural laws of the universe, there are a set of unspoken rules that opening bands must adhere to. Breaking any of these laws could result in the hurling of beer bottles, intense booing and chants for the headlining act, or a full scale invasion of the stage by a bizarre naked skank-dancing obese man. Perhaps the last naked dancing thing there is just my own personal experience.

I’ll get it started by throwing out a couple “Opening Band Laws”:

• Thou shall not play longer than 45 minutes.
• Thou shall not mention your MySpace url.
• Thou shall not have more band members than instruments.
• Thou shall not recount Storyteller style narratives about the song that you wrote about your girlfriend who plays keyboards in your band and go on rambling longer than the length of the actual song.

What are some others? Tell us in the comments…

Some musicians have very little stage presence. They show up for work, play their tunes, and then they exit the stage in silence. The National’s front man Matt Berninger is a perfect example of the quiet type when he’s not singing. During his songs he’s jumping around like a speed addict. But in between songs the guy barely faces the crowd.

Then there are the bands that jabber on endlessly. These are the acts that make you think you’re in a lecture hall instead of a concert. A few years ago Jello Biafra (of spoken word and Dead Kennedys fame) launched a tour with the Melvins supplying music. Biafra stopped between every song to rant about topics ranging from the evils of Walmart, to the evils of SUV’s, to the evils of yuppies. Jello is an outspoken guy. I get that. But I went to witness a legend’s return to singing, not to listen to a two hours of ramblings and tired cliches.

And then there are the masters — the acts that chat effortlessly with the crowd like they’re engaged in a one on one conversation. Country-Rock every-man Steve Earle popped into the World Cafe in Philadelphia for a lunch time set two weeks back. In between his tunes, Earle talked about the personal stories behind the songs drawing cheers and laughs from the crowd.

So, tell us your stories in the comments. What bands really know how to work a crowd? And who falls flat on their faces when the music stops?

Despite news that after 24 years, Madonna will leave Warner to sign a $120 million-deal with concert promoter Live Nation, Labels won’t go anywhere.

There will always be record labels out there. Thanks to the movie “Fallen” and sadistic nuns in grade school, I know evil can never truly be eviscerated. It merely adapts, changes form and continues to spew its venom out into the world.

But now musicians (and Madonna) are fighting back. Radiohead released their album for free (and now there are reports that they may have made a profit), the Eagles will release their new album exclusively through Wal-Mart (another can of worms we won’t touch today), and Trent Reznor dumped ties to his label as well.

Does this mean labels will turn into more of a place for up-and-coming artists who, when they become big enough, graduate to concert promoters? Or will they resort to their plan B, which is to troll around the streets, stealing change from street musicians? (remember, evil never truly dies)

Plus, what do you think concerts and albums going to look like under the control of concert promoters?

Hit us back, just to chat.

*I forgot to introduce this…
Every Wednesday we here at 52Shows throw out a discussion topic to our readers. Sometimes it’s on bands you’d like to see reunited, other times we repeat ourselves, like this weeks. I know we did a cover question before, but this was really just an excuse to post the video below. Sorry to the loyal readers. I’ll try to keep better records or, at the very least, stop writing drunk (maybe).

Local bands are notorious for covering pop songs and completely butchering them. Sometimes it’s because they don’t have enough original stuff and need to fill the 20 minutes of aural pain they are inflicting on the public. Other times it’s because they really love the band they are covering.

But most of the time, for us the listeners, it’s a horrible experiment, similar to watching puppies get tortured, and tests our suicidal tendencies. Thanks to Youtube, some of those moments have been forever caught on film.

So without further ado, I bring you the following:

I wish I could tell you that I was there and survived this musical onslaught of terror. I wasn’t. Someone emailed it to me a while ago and I’ve been cringing at it ever since.

The lack of enthusiasm, the nervous pacing of the lead singer, the stoic nature of the guitarists. It’s almost as if they wanted to play the worst cover ever (and, if that’s true, then they are evil, musical geniuses).

But probably not. The kid running around in the opening seconds tells me this was at a fair or in someone’s backyard and the band is probably playing to their grandfather who’s passed out on the lawn.

Don’t get me wrong. I applaud the effort. It’s not easy to cover Europe, especially an epic song like “Final Countdown,” but was it too much to ask to sing in key and to leave the backup vocals to someone else?

So who or what have you seen that can stand up to this? Have you ever heard a local band make a crowd cry? Or do you have another Youtube video that can make us fear for the musical future of the human race?

Hit us up with your worst.

Sorry. This is late again I know, but at least we didn’t miss the Wednesday.

As some of you know, I was at the Kings of Leon concert last weekend and noticed some rather strange behavior. It was during the Black Rebel Motorcycle Club’s opening set. I was in the back of the Orpheum Theatre in Boston (it’s a “fancy” theatre which means they have seats everywhere) and there was a guy seated in the back row screaming “SIT DOWN! SIT DOWN NOW!!!!” to two people i n front of him.

I wasn’t sure if it was for real or if he was serious. But it was very annoying and got me thinking that there’s a slew of behavior that ticks me off. Here’s quick list in no particular order.

1. Over-priced beer - it’s hard to get a buzz when you can only afford to get two beers and it’s Bud Light.

2. Obstructed view - This happens when the fat/smelly/tall person decides to view the concert directly in front of you.

3. No encores - I don’t care if you’re Warrant and you already played all your songs. Get back out there and give us something extra. Cover Extreme if you have to.

4. Over-priced t-shirts - Right now I believe they are going for $40. It’s tough when you have choose between fashion and drunkenness.

5. Puke - Either in the bathroom, on the floor, or coming out of the mouth from the person next to you. It’s never a good scene…especially if that person ate chili that evening.

6. “Intermission” - I was at a James Taylor concert and they guy took an intermission. Like a real intermission. The house lights came on and he left the stage for, what I can only assume, was his mid-concert nap. If you can’t handle playing the length of a concert, then you should play the State Fair.

Got any more?

I was headed down the thruway (route 90 in NY) in the summer of 1997 to see The Wallflowers at Darien Lake performing arts center. I was with my girlfriend, a buddy of mine (wheelchair bound) and his brother. We should have stayed at home. Originally the tickets had been to see The Counting Crows that evening- The Wallflowers were the opener- but the Crows had cancelled due to throat problems or something like that. So the deal was- if you still used your ticket- you would get a free voucher for a lawn seat for any other show that summer. What the heck we thought. Then we got a flat tire.

At the time I was driving an early eighties Pontiac Bonneville which was a little bit rusty and quite prone to flats. No problem I though- sure changing a tire on an expressway is a little daunting- but I can handle it. Well I got four of the five blots off the tire, and then, on the last bolt- striped the wrench. Of course- I had no additional tools- and no AAA- so we were out of luck. I ended up walking a mile or so down the road and found a couple of guys cutting the grass on one of the medians. They were nice enough to come back to the car w/me and use some of their tools to get the last blot off and the new tire on. Great I thought- we’ll still make the show (probably miss whoever the first opening act was- but not bad considering). The bad luck was not over. When I went to start the car- the battery was dead. So- the two guys- who had already changed my tire- brought the lawnmower down the median and gave me a jump. Luckily it was a large mower.

We could only go about 45 miles and hour on the spare- but eventually we did make it- just in time to catch the band. I remember the Wallflowers putting on a decent set- they threw in a lot of covers to make up the extra time in the headlining set. After the set we drove the hour back home- at 45 miles an hour- w/the people cursing at us and passing us non stop. As I recall the whole way we were singing Bloodhound Gang songs, deliriously. Never did get to use that voucher either. Doh.

Hit us up with a comment- tell us your concert horror story.

Got a short and sweet reader request this Wednesday; what was the best/worst/strangest cover song you’ve ever heard done live? Personally I think covers can be a great part of the live set- for bands that are just starting out and don’t have a ton of material- or established artists who can really make song their own. But sometimes it just backfires- making you realize what lame original songs the band you’re watching writes. I’ll throw a couple out there to start.

Best: Patti Smith doing Them’s “Gloria,” OR Peal Jam’s take on the Dead Boys’ “Sonic Reducer”.

Worst: Panic! At The Disco’s take on Radiohead’s “Karma Police” & Smashing Pumpkins “Tonight, Tonight”.

Strangest: Meg and Dia’s take on Jet’s “Are You Gonna Be My Girl” (they changed it to “boy”).

So hit us up with a comment- tell us about a memorable (for whatever reason) cover.

2007 seems to be the year of the reunion tour. What band would you bring back from the dead?

The Police hit the road together again this year. Phil Collins is back with Genesis to spread adult-prog-rock across the land. Eddie Van Halen and David Lee Roth are back together as Van Halen… ok we’ll believe that one after they play some actual shows.

But Morrissey, on the other hand, recently disclosed that he wants no part of a Smiths reunion. He claims to have turned down offers of up to $75 million to join up with Johnny Marr and play a string of shows as the Smiths.

Now, I’ve seen Morrissey play solo a few times. He’s even sprinkled in some Smiths tunes at his shows which was always a fun diversion. Still, I’d love to go back in time and see the Smiths play a London show together in all their mope-rock glory. The whiny teenager in me wants to be there to see the original guys together in their prime play in the UK, origin of the Mozzer’s legendary misery.

There’s something appealing about seeing a band from the past get back together. So how about it — living or dead, what band would you bring together for a one-time performance?